Accepting feedback…

I used to try to be perfect, so that I wouldn’t have to hear any criticism.  However, I was rarely successful at that attempt.  You see, no matter what I do, there will always be someone who doesn’t like it.  I’ve learned that I can’t please everyone.  But, learning that didn’t take the sting away from hearing a criticism.  I think the thing for me was that I didn’t just hear the criticism, I took it another step forward and took it personal.  I would hear the criticism, internalize it, and then enforce the belief that I’m not good enough and/or there is something wrong with me.  Well…believing that created a never-ending cycle that got repeated everyday.  Not fun.

I’ve learned another thing now, and that is, it’s okay for people to give me criticism, or feedback.  It’s okay to hear that someone else doesn’t like something that I’ve done.  For, it has nothing to do with me! How someone else feels is their business, it’s not controlled by me.  A person’s feelings are based upon their experiences and their beliefs.  Again, they have nothing to do with me.  As long as I accept and love myself, my decisions, and my actions, I’m good.  I can listen to you, respect your feelings, and do nothing, if I so choose.  For, your feelings are not my responsibility.  You’re just working with and responding to your stuff.  By me not taking it personal, I’m honoring your ability to take ownership of your feelings.  I’m trusting that you can handle your feelings and that you will be okay.  I am not responsible for your feelings.  I am only responsible for mine.  Who knew???  :)

What I learned from a game of Monopoly…

It’s funny how we can learn major life lessons hidden within the little things in life.  I’m playing a game of monopoly last night, and although no one had quite taken the lead, I was starting to feel my fate was destined to come soon.  My only hope was that I had two properties within the light blue group and the third was still available.  Eventually, one of my opponents landed on the third one…bummer.  But, she decided she didn’t want it!  Auction time!  All of a sudden, my last chance of even walking away with a tiny shred of dignity appeared.

The property is worth $100…the bids have already gotten to around $325.  All of a sudden here come the voices:  “You know what, that property isn’t even worth all that!”, “You’re gonna spend all your money on that property and not have enough to survive later!”, “You always lose at Monopoly anyways…just let  her have it and  call it a night already, who cares!”, “Ugh, this isn’t fair…how come I ALWAYS lose at Monopoly!” 

Then, all of a sudden it dawns on me…this is how I operate in my life!  Wow… 

I may know that I want something and I may even know that it’s meant for me…but…

-it doesn’t come easy
-it costs more than I thought it would
-I worry that I won’t be able to handle it
-I’m afraid I’m gonna fall on my face if I try
-I remind myself of how many times I failed before
-I make up stories in my mind about how horrible things are going to turn out

So, instead of taking the risk and trusting myself and trusting that God is gonna have my back, I usually throw in the towel before I even try!  I fail before I even start!  Instead of trusting that I have an ABUNDANCE of resources available to me, I refuse to look past what I have now.  I refuse to look past what I’ve had before.

Now, back to the Monopoly game.  This time I decided to do something different.  So, yes…I stayed in the auction…I paid a ridiculous amount of money for my light blue Monopoly.  But, guess what?  Even though everyone else had at least two Monopoly’s on the rich side of town…I won!  I was ok!  Yes, I landed on their property’s and had to come out of a lot of money, but somehow, someway I always had enough.  And, eventually having enough turned into an abundance of resources!

This is not just about a simple game of Monopoly.  It’s really about what the game represents.  And I came to such a huge awareness last night.  I’m so thankful for this because I’ve been really working on watching what I say and being more conscious of  the thoughts I meditate on daily.  It’s so easy to slip on a pair of worrying, complaining, cranky pants.  But, the thing is…it’s a CHOICE.  I’m learning how sometimes I subconsciously make choices to be negative and consequently create negative situations for myself.  I know that the only way to break this habit is to set an intention to be aware and conscious when I’m about to slip into worry mode.  It is then that I can make the choice to trust myself, trust God, stay positive, and get out there and truly live my life.  I can create the life I want, there’s no need to worry about how it’s going to happen.